What If You Don’t Love India?
A national secret is normally guarded by the government. But there is a national secret that is held by India’s people—millions of them. And the secret is that they may not be patriotic. It has to be a closely guarded secret because today every Indian is expected to be a patriot. The other option is […]
Why the Flight Attendant Shouldn’t be a Genius
I GET a spam call from a girl who asks which bank has issued my credit card, and I say, “Sperm Bank.” She asks if it is a foreign bank. I say it’s Indian. She asks for the spelling of ‘Sperm’. Listening to her, I am delighted at the progress the nation has made. I […]
The Lie That Every Language Holds a Secret Feeling
USUALLY, when a person speaks a language poorly, it is a sign that they speak some other language very well. But many Indians who eat avocados cannot speak any language well. This includes English, their current dominant language that made them forget their own. I, too, have lost the ability to speak well, especially an […]
How Innocent are “Unarmed” Civilians
People in Gurgaon were wondering what they must do if a Pakistani missile reached them. We would have run, surely, to what end I don’t know. That moment when I ran, I would have been somewhat embarrassed. That Pakistan made me run. Normally, Pakistanis cannot make me do anything—not even emotionally prepare for a cricket […]
Why the Oscar Doesn’t Guarantee Entertainment Anymore
MOST working people are in marketing, one way or another, whether or not their department is called ‘Marketing.’ Also, most people are not in the arts. Yet, art has some of the world’s best marketing, though it is not known as marketing. Like its awards or ceremonies of ‘recognition.’ Who is ‘recognising’ the artist? A […]
Who would’ve thought something could replace Google
It has been many weeks since I seriously googled anything. Not because I know everything now. I have moved to ChatGPT. A year ago, it would’ve been unthinkable to me that anything would replace Google Search, a two-decade-long habit of peering into a void of stuff. In this triumph of ChatGPT, much is said about […]
How to reform your son because you watched a TV show
My dear son, I’m watching Adolescence on Netflix, and I need to over-articulate my limited understanding of human nature using terminology from therapy and gender studies. If you feel like killing a girl, don’t forget to talk to us about it. You must talk about your feelings; the modern man must talk, talk, talk. Not […]
The Indian Constitution is a bad place to look for freedom of expression
A FEW YEARS ago, someone got in touch with me asking if I would agree to be a part of an interview series where authors are interviewed in front of a live audience by a person who has never read a book. I immediately agreed because I knew that this interviewer had to be interesting […]
How language keeps people unfit
ONE of the unhealthy things people do is the way they speak of themselves. They speak poorly, especially about their physical health. They express a low opinion of their prospects. How they have “aged,” when they are still in their 40s or 50s. This view emerges from their false perception of how people at this […]
What champions of ‘hard work’ don’t get about workers
About 20 years ago, the five-day week was not common in India. Some people in an office in Mumbai approached their boss to demand it. The boss said he had no problem with this very modern global idea; he would ask the proprietor. But, he said, they should know what the owner would probably ask. […]